The Robe (1953)
A Roman tribune who participated in the crucifixion of Jesus converts and then gets martyred by Caligula.
The Robe is famous for one particular reason: it was the first CinemaScope film. When TV started taking a bite out of movie attendance, CinemaScope was launched as a technological innovation that would differentiate the theater experience from the small screen. That difference: it was wide—86% wider than regular film’s height-to-width ratio of 1.37:1 and even wider than TV’s paltry ratio of 1.33:1 (aka 4:3).1
CinemaScope was a big deal, which made The Robe a big deal. None other than Martin Scorsese introduced The Robe on the DVD I rented, and he’s a guy who knows good movies. He talked about the indelible feeling of being in the theater for it and watching the curtain open wider and wider across the screen. Maybe it was the novelty of the tech, then, that fooled people into thinking this film was good.2
Here’s two hours saved for ya: Roman tribune Marcellus Gallio (Richard Burton) crucifies Jesus, then gets hexed by Jesus’ titular robe. Marcellus becomes a missionary, which was a no-no under tyrannical Emperor Caligula since religion is a zero-sum game, so he gets martyred.3 I think there’s a good story to be told here—maybe even The Greatest story!—but The Robe is just “VeggieTales”-level moralizing with performances better suited for a Sunday school play.
Rating: 1/10. Some say that salvation is only achieved through suffering; for them, The Robe is an express ticket to Paradise.
Cast and Crew
Welcome to the column, Richard Burton. During Burton’s stage career, he was considered a potential successor to Laurence Olivier, but you’d be hard-pressed to find any depth or range in his Robe performance. Burton previously co-starred in 1952’s My Cousin Rachel, based on a Daphne du Maurier4 novel, and for that he was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor statue. I’ve come around on some actors who’ve had rocky starts and Burton’ll have plenty of time to make his case (six more films!) but woof, he’s starting from the bottom.
Victor Mature plays Gallio’s servant Demetrius. It’s a bad role and Mature doesn’t do anything to elevate it. We won’t be seeing him again in this column, but he does have some other noteworthy credits. He played Doc Holliday in 1946’s My Darling Clementine, a John Ford Western about the O.K. Corral gunfight. He also starred in another Biblical sword-and-sandals drama, 1949’s Samson and Delilah with Hedy Lamarr.5
Jean Simmons is a real actress who plays Marcellus’ wife, though her only job in this film is to look pretty. Let’s talk about her when she’s in a film where she actually gets something to do.
Alfred Newman composed the generically epic score for The Robe. You should know him as a part of the most Academy Award-nominated family, all of whom received their nominations in music categories. Alfred was nominated 45 (!) times; his nephew Randy, who you might know from “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” and “I Love L.A.,” has 20 noms. Alfred’s the composer of the 20th Century Fox music—y’know, the fanfare that plays when you see this:
The Trivia
The Robe bangs through the last week of Jesus’ life, so let’s discuss what the Gospels say about that period. Demetrius sees Jesus ride into Jerusalem on a donkey while his followers wave palm leaves; that’s a pretty good indication that it’s Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week (or Passion Week). Let’s run through the rest of the days:
Monday and Tuesday don’t get special adjectives (though you can call them “Holy”), but Jesus was still busy—cleansing the temple of Jerusalem by casting out the moneychangers, healing the sick, and firing off parables left and right. He also did one of his 37 canonical miracles: withering a fig tree.6
Holy (or Spy) Wednesday was the day Judas betrayed Jesus, disclosing his location for 30 pieces of silver.7 Jesus spent Wednesday in Bethany being anointed with fancy oil, saying “anoint my body for burial while I am still alive and can enjoy it.”
Maundy Thursday is definitely the maundiest day of Holy Week.
Jesus washes his apostles’ feet (that’s actually what “maundy” refers to).
Jesus and the apostles have the Last Supper to celebrate Passover. Jesus mentions that he’ll be betrayed and offers for the apostles to eat the bread that’s his body and drink the wine that’s his blood.
Jesus goes into the Garden of Gethsemane8 where he experiences the agony: first, he asks, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass me by” (bargaining); then, “If this cup cannot pass by, but I must drink it, Your will be done!” (acceptance).
Later, Judas kisses Jesus in the garden to identify Jesus to the authorities. Jesus is arrested9, and in front of High Priest Caiaphas and the Sanhedrin, he’s accused of blasphemy.
At the trial on Good Friday, Pontius Pilate is pressured by the crowd into condemning Jesus to death. The crowd, when given a choice of a prisoner to release, chooses Barabbas.10 Now it’s time for the Via Dolorosa, the path of Jesus to Mount Calvary (also called Golgotha). Catholics show this with the Stations of the Cross, 14 images depicting this event. Jesus is finally crucified in between two thieves.11 Joseph of Arimathea asks Pilate for the body; he and Nicodemus wrap the body in linen and lay it in Joseph’s freshly-dug tomb.
Holy Saturday: it’s tough to know what Jesus did that day since he was dead.
Resurrection Sunday (Easter): Jesus is back! Jesus reveals himself first to Mary Magdalene, who at first mistakes him for the gardener.12 Jesus then appears to the eleven Apostles (Judas, the twelfth, had already committed suicide) and gives them “the Great Commission,” telling them to spread the news. He sticks around for forty days (though these days don’t get adjectives), then ascends into heaven.
Yes, it might’ve been more fun if this section was about some other holiday, like Diwali or Vassa. Blame Richard Burton for not getting nominated for a movie where he portrayed the Buddha or Muhammad or whatever. Actually, blame the Academy for nominating Richard Burton for this embarrassing mess of a movie.
Odds and Ends
You can see “SPQR” in the background in some scenes; this stands for “Senatus Populusque Romanus,” or “The Senate and People of Rome”....Ben Nye did the makeup for this film, as well as many other films, including Gone With the Wind (1939); he’s the namesake of the Ben Nye Makeup Company….Jesus’ robe was, in tradition, found by Helena, mother of Emperor Constantine the Great, along with the true cross and location of Calvary13…in the Roman military, the legion was commanded by a legate, under whom were tribunes and prefects and, below them, centurions, who themselves oversaw a hundred troops…Jay Robinson plays a sneering, campy Caligula in The Robe that reminded me of the character of King George III in “Hamilton”…the first five Roman Emperors, in order, were Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, and Nero.
Marcellus dies at the end of The Robe, so I thought that would be the last anyone had to worry about it. Nope: Victor Mature starred in a sequel, Demetrius and the Gladiators, in 1954. But praise be, we won’t be watching that.
We touched on Cinerama, a different film technological innovation, in the 1952 Wrap-Up. What made CinemaScope different from Cinerama was that you could retrofit existing equipment to screen CinemaScope films, but you needed a whole different setup for Cinerama to support its curved screen and multiple projectors.
Interestingly, the lenses on the cameras used for shooting in CinemaScope, called anamorphic lenses, were made by Bausch and Lomb; if you wear contacts, you might recognize those names.
And it’s not just me, as you can see in this delightful review: “Unless Jesus’ message of everlasting peace is meant to refer to the extended nap this non-historical anti-epic will make you long for, because The Robe is more suitable for selling a comfy pillow than a religion.”
Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, nicknamed Caligula (“little boot”), was the third Roman emperor. He’s best known for his cruelty and for (allegedly) trying to make his horse consul. He was eventually assassinated by his Praetorian Guard.
You might not need to know “My Cousin Rachel,” but you’ve gotta know lots about the du Maurier works “Rebecca” and “The Birds”—both of which were turned into Hitchcock films.
Lamarr frequently comes up in trivia for her invention of radio-control technology that paved the way for WiFi and Bluetooth.
Kind of a low-tier miracle, IMO.
Delilah was also paid to betray Samson, though she received 1,100 pieces of silver. Was Samson worth 37 times more than Jesus? That’s a question for Biblical scholars.
This is when Apostle Peter, the one-time Simon the fisherman, slices off the ear of Malchus, a servant to High Priest Caiaphas. In Jesus’ last miracle before the resurrection, he heals Malchus (good miracle) and says what is now paraphrased as “live by the sword, die by the sword.” As Jesus is being arrested, Peter denies knowing Him three times; this was (and this is a technical, Bible term) kind of a bitch move. Don’t worry, though!—there’s the “Restoration of Peter” once Jesus is risen and everything’s hunky-dory again.
Terrible choice.
One of the thieves is impenitent and one is penitent. They also get names in the Apocrypha, but that’s pretty deep down the rabbit hole.
I’m assuming this was less slapstick than it sounds.
She ordered the building of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher at Calvary where she found the true cross.